1) FRIDAY NIGHTS
At this point, since my job is a joke and I work at an accounting firm, I basically have to work on Saturdays for at least half a day. This does not preclude me from going out or anything. It just makes it less enticing. On this particular Friday, I did hit a happy hour with some friends down the road from the office. Nothing of consequence to report as we were home by 11. I should note however, that the upstairs of the Barking Dog was hosting some belly dancing lessons or something and the ladies that were welcoming people in were dressed in what should be described as non-winter friendly neglige. Let's just say my mouth was watering over more than beer.
2) MARYLAND V. DUKE: THE ACC FINALE
After work, a nice shower, and some decompression it was time to watch what is considered by the Maryland faithful the game every season. Adding to the intrigue was the fact that Maryland had gotten blown out by 20 points three weeks prior, and this was to be the last game between the two schools as ACC foes. That is a feast of story lines that a sports lover and Terp like me gets off on.
So anyhow, a viewing location is established. I arrive in time for the start of the game, well before anyone else meeting me out gets there. More people arrive. The clock ticks down. Maryland is shooting 60% and rebounding well. Foul shots are going in. A totally impossible win seems probable. And then they WIN. How glorious. One problem. My excitement throughout the game led me to stress drink beers for the previous two hours. Between countless pilsners and a plethora of victory shots, let's say I was impaired in pretty much every way.
As it is, ahem, told to me, I was looking at girls extremely awkwardly and constantly saying "Ehrmagerd" all night. Obviously a winning combination for spitting game. We proceeded to then get Jumbo Slice and stop into McDonald's for a total of what felt like 90 minutes. Again, drunken eating is part of my repertoire. Needless to say, before long I was passed out since I could no longer eat, drink, or see.
3) LAZY SUNDAY
The recovery from Saturday night took at least six hours. Cycling everything out of my system with water and sleep (a lot of sleep) took longer than I thought. If the mood strikes, I can take sedentary to a whole new level. I would not have been interested in going for a walk or window shopping. Nay, laying around was the move.
4) THE NBA ALL-STAR GAME
Talk about female kryptonite. Obviously some women watch the NBA All-Star Game. But I'd say a majority couldn't give two shits. I'm sure most men couldn't give two shits. But, hey, it was a way for the DCers and the New Yorkers to spend some QT before the weekend came to an end. So we all gather for a last hurrah. Let me note that I was wearing sweatpants and socks and sandals. That's the first thing. Second, more cheap beer down the hatch. Because I clearly hadn't had enough on Saturday night. Third, we were shoving enough food in our faces to make Joey Chestnut take a step back. Additionally, it was the kind of food that makes your heart slow down like Donovan McNabb in his last year in the NFL. We were making obscure references, cursing, talking about nothing, and eating and drinking constantly. It was like an incubator used to keep single girls out. The ladies that were present were attached to a few gentlemen that were there. They were already in the circle. Outsiders would have kept walking while keeping their eyes focused forward. Best to just speed by.
So there you go. Four reasons why wooing just wasn't going to work this weekend. Hey, it was a great weekend, and I wouldn't trade it for a night out in a button down. It was great to catch up with buddies you don't see often. I went in knowing the odds were already stacked against me in the dating realm. I accepted it. Sometimes these weekends happen, and they are fun and necessary. They just tend to bring to light how far from a successful interaction with a female one actually is. Go Terps!
Go Terps... lol
ReplyDelete