Feel Better About The Dating World: Watch The Challenge

Hey gang!  Back from a monstrous bachelor party weekend where we collectively drank enough to fill a tidal basin.  It took me an extra day to post something because I have been agonizing over my horrendous sunburn I acquired.  My stupid lack of sunscreen usage really put a damper on my comfort going into the new work week.  I'm blistering, I'm peeling, I'm itching.  It's gross.  I know you were interested in that.  Anyway, this is a recovery post.

I was catching up on DVR last night while I was nursing my wounds, and I watched the latest episode of The Challenge on MTV.  If you are unfamiliar with this show, it's a physical challenge format reality show pitting former Real World (and technically Road Rules) cast members against each other in ridiculous head-to-head competitions ultimately leading to a contestant's or team's elimination at the end of the episode.  Sounds basic enough.  The difference is the debauchery and sheer loathsome characters that grace the screen every Wednesday night.

Real World has been on now for 20 some odd seasons.  Give MTV credit, it has staying power.  If you've ever watched Real World, it is easy to see how simple the formula for sifting through applicants is.  They purposely find the most volatile mix of seven people to live in a house where they stop being polite and start getting real.  Now imagine a mish-mash of those Real World housemates in a competition with enough alcohol supply to remove four coats of paint from your house.  It's the most over-the-top, rambunctious, contentious, dirty, gross, risque douchebaggery on television.  And it's awesome.

Watching this show makes me feel better about myself.  Not physically.  Most of these guys are muscle-heads that have never spent a day in their lives overweight.  The women walk around with half-shirts and their rock-hard abs out like they don't know that usually clothes come with more fabric.  It makes me feel better about who I am as a person though.  Just about everybody has a history with one another on the show.  They end up fighting, fucking, and saying some of the most ignorant shit humans can say.  I'm convinced MTV makes them sign a contract confirming they have no serious relationships that they can ruin back home.  It's like they sign off saying they're willing to pone each other because they are afire with promiscuity.  They are generally bad people.  There are some exceptions as with everything.  Some seem like you could hang with them and have a good time.  Mostly, they smack of arrogance and sexual nonchalance.  I bet they all smell like an 1800s brothel.

I am also glad that I don't dislike people like they tend to dislike each other.  They all hold a grudge like it was great spot in a long line.  Get over it.  Combine that ire with copious amounts of alcohol, and you get explosive situations.  Not to mention all the contestants are super-competitive.  Competitive personalities create for testy environments anyway.  Add TV cameras, and it's a perfect storm of assholes proving who the alpha is.  Even-keeled they are not.  I feel blessed to have the ability to remove myself from such tenuous situations.  I'm not usually "in the mix" as they say.  I would prefer to be your friend.  I would prefer to drink with you without turning into the Incredible Hulk.

I realize I don't look like these guys, nor am I the bad boy.  But I really think I'm just an overall better person than pretty much everyone on the show.  I think after awhile women would prefer me to the men on The Challenge.  I mean maybe not.  Maybe women want to get banged out and then trampled on by the drunken, over-confident bad boy for the rest of their lives.  I just find it hard to believe.  These guys' mothers can't even be proud of them.  Conversely, I wouldn't wish to find myself with any of these women for an extended period of time.  Sure, a lot of them are smokin' hot.  On the surface that's all well and good.  After about 5 to 10 minutes you realize drama is the central theme with each of them.  No thanks.  I have enough to deal with on my own.  Stay away and go find this guy:

The irony is that all of these awful people are what make the show what it is:  a completely entertaining train wreck.  They may be douchebags, but they make me laugh.  God bless 'em.  Thanks to my friends for getting me into it.  More mind-numbing programming to keep me away from bettering my life with a new job or, say, a new date.  Yes, it may be drivel, but it makes me feel good knowing I haven't come close to hitting rock bottom in any capacity.  Seriously, give it a spin.  It'll blow your mind.  Or you'll turn it off in disgust.  Either way, you'll be glad you're you.