In honor of the constant semi-residency of a bunch of foreigners around this joint, I figured part of this post would be dedicated to how I would operate with women not from this country. See, this week there have been five German girls that have been in and out of here. Now keep in mind the intention of these travelers is simply to have a place to stay for free while they tour the city. I would be lying if it didn't seem like an opportunity to try and "run game". That phrase sounds a lot stupider when you write it out. Anyway, these girls don't know me nor will I ever see them again. Doesn't that sound like a wonderful recipe for a string-less hookup?
A saucier man would say yes. These girls could be into American men and our cute accents. They could be looking for an experience to make their travels epic. I could be that guy. But seriously, it's a little intriguing is it not? When 20-something year old Americans go to Europe sometimes they have a bilingual romp. Why should this be any different?
The truth is there is no good transition for me in this situation. Let's back up. For starters, it's not like the girls that are staying here are supremely attractive. They are exotic. That's really about it. So let's be clear that no one is jonesing because there are a bunch of Heidi Klums prancing around the condo. Okay, but say there is an opportunity. Transitioning to a hookup situation is shady and, in my view, impossible. Impossible mainly because it's shady.
"Oh where have you been before here? Are you gonna go check out the city? Are you in school? If that bed's uncomfortable I have a lot of real estate available on mine."
C'mon that's not exactly smooth. I'm sure many men do it that way. To me, it sounds a little forward and a lot creepy. It is no different with these foreign visitors - staying in my home mind you - than it is out at a bar or somewhere else with women. The transition there is just as hard. I know there is a common "You wanna get outta here?" line at the end of a night out at the club. You've put in the work. You're both feeling each other. I just feel like that's a Carl Lewis leap to take. You're nuts have to be the size of matzoh balls to make that work. If you're drunk and making out at the bar then fine. I could see where it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to end up back in somebody's bedroom. Sobriety makes it tougher. It's a huge assumption for men to think that they are worthy of anything in one night. Three hours and you're in? That's no time at all. We should all be so lucky.
The reason I think it's all a little shady is because it never happens to me. I'm probably a little too respectful and pay for too many drinks. I just don't see openings like Adrian Peterson does. The door is never cracked wide enough because it's straight awkward to put it out there like that. There is never a right moment to bring it up because every moment is like walking on egg shells. It's tragic. I can get numbers, but I rarely take girls home. Or try and convince them to sleep in my room. It's just the way it goes. I need to sign up for Transition Training at the local gym. I should mention that I'm not always just trying to take girls home (aw because I'm such a sweetie). But every now and then, as a single man, it wouldn't be the worst experience. And we wonder why I have a blog.
Forget these foreign house guests. From the looks of it, there will be plenty coming in and out over my tenure as a resident here. I just have too much TV to watch and too many blog posts to write. It's too much effort in an already strange environment to try and get these Fraus in here. Though I do wonder if I would be a hit in some other country. I'm certainly not a hit in D.C. I don't know if Italian women or Hungarian women really give a shit that I hate my job or not. They might appreciate the fact that I give them personal space. I should hit Europe for six months, log my travels, and see if anything is different. Wouldn't that just be so Dan? To end up marrying some chick from Belgium while on vacation and bring her broken-English-speaking ass back with me? It would be straight out of Love Actually.
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