Outside of two years of my life, Valentine's Day has always just been February 14 for me. In reality, it always is just February 14 for everyone. But somewhere along the way someone decided St. Valentine was worth celebrating, and so a non-holiday was born. The rhetoric is as follows: If you have someone, Valentine's Day is cool or at least tolerable. If you don't have anyone, then it's miserable. Pretty standard sentiment.
My Valentine's Day shtick has been pretty simple over the years. Depression, questioning yourself, trying to stick to routine, and the almighty power move of going out with a single girl friend or two. That's the play, right? "If we both aren't with someone, why not enjoy each other's company?" My lady friends that have been generous enough to volunteer their time to me for V-Day dinners in the past are among the most wonderful people I know. Those dinners are always fun. But let me tell you something. No man goes out to dinner with attractive single women for a night of platonic admiration and thinks "Yes, this is a favorable alternative." Somewhere along the way he has screwed up, be it with his present company or that blond girl at the gym who he's mildly obsessed with. At some point during that dinner, it becomes very clear to him that the girl or girls with whom he is currently dining are not going to sleep with him that night. He knows that. At least in other food-consumption scenarios there is a possibility - immediate or down the line - that he will find himself in vulnerable and pleasurable positions with his date. Singles' V-Day Dinner offers no such happy ending.
Ultimately, it's okay. Everybody is friends, and we achieved our goal of not being lonely on Valentine's Day. It's just knowing that most of our friends are going to be romancing between the bed sheets later. That's what digs at us. And our particular outing is a reminder of that. Still, good company is better than no company at all.
Single Valentiners also must find ways to endure the pressures of social media. The advent of Facebook has allowed people to post statuses, pictures, or a nauseating combination of the two about how perfect and awesome their Valentine is. No one anywhere on Earth is as wonderful as Troy. FACT. Each scrolling status is another inch we slink down in our chairs. By the end of our Facebook check, we're either nose deep in a bowl of ice cream or writing a dumb blog about Valentine's Day. Make no mistake. If I had a Valentine this year, I would be doing all the same bullshit everyone else is doing. All of those people should be proud, and they should boast about how awesome their significant others are. Those are positive vibes, thoughts, and images. I would be all about my girl gushing about how incredible, charming, handsome, thoughtful, and perfect I am. That's what its all about. That's what Facebook is all about. I'm just saying in my current position, I don't wish to read about all the Utopian glory everybody else is experiencing. I'm happy for every happy couple. Truly. I'm just reminded 100 times about the magnitude of their joy. It's overkill.
That's a typical Valentine's Day for the single man. It's all too common. Today was a little more exciting for me, though. On this Valentine's night I had a date with my favorite machines at the gym: Freda, Helga, and Xena. We really took care of each other and made sweet, sweet music for about an hour. I can't think of anyone who could have had a more romantic evening than that.
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