Fun With Online Dating

I've discovered an interesting game to play with dating websites.  Call it a game within the game.  Despite all my cynicism and reluctance to fully immerse myself into "cyber-courting," I can't seem to pry myself away from it fully either.  Call it a need for attention.  Call it a need to actually leave my residence.  Whatever you call it, I'm not going to abandon the process.

Okay, so here's a fun thing to do:  blind online dating.  Obviously, your first question is "don't you get to see everybody because they post pictures?"  Yes.  However, if you are not a subscriber for certain bogus sites like eHarmony.com, you cannot view any pictures.  I didn't know that before I set up my free profile.  Despite my lack of visuals, women were reaching out to me.  eHarmony is much more step-by-step than other dating sites.  In other words, you break the ice through a series of exchanges before you actually reach out to talk to someone.  For instance, they ask you five pre-generated questions and you answer.  Then you ask questions right back.  Then they send you what makes or breaks a relationship.  You send them yours and so on.

Imagine doing these exchanges without knowing what the other person looked like.  I gotta say it was kind of thrilling.  Not in any real sense, but in a lame domestic sense.  I was doing several exchanges with different ladies without ever having seen them.  It was enthralling.  I did it like five times.  It's like a non-TV version of Dating in the Dark where you can't see anyone's face but "get to know them."  After all beauty is only skin deep anyway, is it not?

As I realized how far along this was progressing, I finally had to cave and see who I was talking to.  After all, in Dating in the Dark they reveal the other person at the end of each episode, and sometimes those bitches just walk out and say "Effffffffffffff nooooooooo."  I'm not about to commit to back-and-forth communication for the long hall if I don't know what you look like.  Anyone who says looks or appearance don't matter IS LYING TO YOU.  I would only trust people I know to set me up on a blind date.  Dr. Whoever-You-Are that founded eHarmony, I don't know you and I don't trust you.  Sorry.

It turns out the eHarmony is like the Island of Misfit Daters.  I have yet to find a soul worth communicating

with.  Maybe one or two have been worthy, but I don't jump out of my chair at the prospect of them.  I acted fast and cut off my initial exchanges.  It ends here.  There seem to be a limited number of people for them to match me with as well.  Their client base appears to be that of a late night D.C. metro car.  I get plenty of emails from interested ladies.  None really strike me.  I realize this makes me sound like picky, superficial douchebag.  It's online dating.  It promotes some level of discriminating taste by default.  Besides, I went in totally blind.  I should get some credit for at least trying, shouldn't I?



Match.com, it's been so long.  You look marvelous.